📍Bad Fishy Jet Boating (Rebranded Cairns Jetboating): A Savage Review 2026.
LOOKING FOR AN IN-DEPTH REVIEW OF BAD FISHY JET BOATING?
Well, too bad. You’re not getting one here because I tried doing that deep-dive s**t for ages and it didn’t work. So, now I’m doing the short-and-savage, I no longer GAF version. Hold on tight; it’s a rollercoaster. And absolutely useless.
Also, Bad Fishy Jet Boating doesn’t exist anymore. It’s been rebranded into Cairns Jetboating. Could that name BE any more generic? You guys didn’t even try, did you? Just nailing that SEO searchability game on that one, amiright? (But now all the pictures of the boat are wrong.)
CAIRNS BAD FISHY JET BOATING.
- A mischievous-looking, little s**t of a boat.
- Spin around Trinity Inlet.
- You might even see some dinosaurs.
Bad Fishy Jet Boating Review Overview.
I cover a lot of s**t in this review. If it’s not here, too freaking bad—I’m sure someone else has it!
Review Snapshot.
- Tour Type: Hyperactive, speedy mechanical fish.
- Duration: 35 minutes (because they’re too cheap to give you an hour).
- Location: Berth A1, The Marlin Marina.
- Thrill level: Higher than a freaking kite.
- How wet you get: The same amount you get from a swirly: full body edition.
- Overall impression: Awesome. Good Bad Fishy.
Is Bad Fishy Jet Boating in Cairns Worth It?
Yeah, it was excellent, just give them your money.
Prices.
$89.
4 red bills and 1 blue will do it. Unless it’s Monopoly money. I mean, you could try.
What Makes Bad Fishy Jet Boating Unique?
The boat is painted like a mischievous fish. It’s cute as f**k, but you wouldn’t want to take it home to meet your mother.
Bad Fishy Jet Boating Review.
Arrival, Safety Briefing & Equipment.
We got a floater, some sunnies/glasses, and I think there was something else, but I forgot what it was.
Pros.
- It happened fast, then we were on the boat.
Cons.
- I don’t know, I can’t remember. It might come back to me later.
Jet Boating Experience.
Pros.
- Seat belt and lap bar mean that this is a wild freaking wild ride! Did it deliver? Check!
- Skipper was as energetic and mischievous as the Boaty-McBoat Face implies.
- He was having so much fun, which translates into “I’m trying my best to throw you the f**k out of this boat and feed you to the crocodiles! Best jetboat ride ever!
- Fast, circle, wet, rinse, repeat. It’s like being in a—what do you call those washing machines you load from the top? A Top Loader! That’s it.
- City, river, mountain, boat.
- Top tier! Buy that bitch a beer.
Cons.
- Not good if you’re wearing pads; they get bulky.
Staff & Skipper.
Pros.
- Excellent. Give them a raise. And a bonus! x2.
Cons.
- I SAID THEY WERE EXCELLENT!
Photos & Videos.
Skipper took all the awesome pics in this post taken from the back of Bad Fishy’s head.
Pros.
- Good. Many. Cheap.
- Got 100.
- And 5 vids.
Cons.
- Needs a windscreen wiper.
- Need more angles.
Overall Bad Fishy Jet Boating Experience.
Very good. Hold on tight so you don’t fall in; the crocodiles will eat you.
Is It Good Value For Money?
Yes. The price is definitely a little jacked up, but it’s the best jet boat I’ve ever been on, which is like 4. So just f**king book it already.
Would I Go Jetboating On Bad Fishy Again?
Well, they rebranded, so I can’t really. They are now much more lamely called “Cairns Jet Boating.” They kept the mischievous fish even though there’s no connection to the name anymore, which just adds insult to injury, but now it’s electric blue and black. So it’s still cute AF, so I say ride the crazy fishy! Because it’ll still be less batshit crazy than your ex!
Who Would Enjoy A Bad FIshy Jetboating Experience?
- Everyone. And if you don’t, you suck.
Location.
Where Is The Bad Fishy Jet Boat In Cairns?
I don’t know. Over there, between some buildings and some boats. (
How To Get To The Jet Boat.
Walk. Drive. Fly a hovercraft. Pick your poison.
Where Can I Park?
Between the parking lines. Don’t be an a**hole.
Participant Information.
Requirements.
- Breathing.
- Someone who hasn’t been crushed by parenthood yet.
Not Permitted.
- Dead people.
Supplied Gear.
- Eye shields.
- Corpse floaters.
What To Wear/ Take.
- Your dignity.
Bad Fishy Jetboating: FAQ.
How long is the Bad Fishy Jet Boat Ride?
35 minutes of being completely and utterly MOIST!
Do you get wet on the Bad Fishy Jet Boat?
So freaking wet! I couldn’t have taken a full dunk in the ocean and been as wet as I was after this. It’s one bad fish! Perfect for cooling down in the Tropical North Queensland humidity.
Accommodation: Where To Stay In Cairns.
- Best Solo/Budget: Little Drifters.
- Best Mid Range: The Abbott Boutique Hotel.
- Best Luxury: Cairns Private Apartments.
Conclusion: Bad Fishy Jet Boating.
Cairns Jetboating, formerly Bad Fishy Jet Boating, is a wildly fun and absolutely exhilarating experience that no adrenaline-loving visitor to Cairns should miss. You get to see the spectacular city and mountain scenery, tear around the stunning Trinity Creek, and get totally drenched, which is just the perfect way to cool from Far North Queensland’s ridiculous humidity.
